The loneliest person that ever I knew

Lived in a lighthouse at Seaton Carew.


           O Seaton Carew, tell me what shall I do?


The waves washed the base of his tower all day

Bearing dolls’ heads and bottles and cans of hair spray -


           O hairy spray, won’t you show me the way?


He fished from the window for seagulls that flew

Over drowned fields and meadows where brown seaweed grew.


           O seaweed I’m blue, what on earth shall we do?


The pylons waded in billows of grey,

Their cables bedraggled and rusted with spray.


           O rusting spray, to whom should I pray?


When the howl of the tempest was frightful and shrill

He read all the works of John Stuart Mill.


           O John Stuart Mill, is there hope for us still?


If I had one more drink then I’d know where to steer,

But the maps are all torn and there’s salt in the beer,


           O salt in the beer, from many a tear,


I walk round and round and I don’t have a clue,

I don’t know who’s me and I don’t know who’s you,

I’m the loneliest person that I never knew,


            O Seaton Carew, O Seaton Carew.